Ebjournal Revisited.

“67th annual McIntosh Reunion, live from Illinois,” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

It’s possible that my dearth of posting (ten days is a long time for me these days) is related to the fact that last week, I had class from 9-4, and then needed to work out. It could also be because this weekend TLEMK and I drove 800 miles to see people that I could legally marry, yet still fall within the family tree.

The 66th Annual McIntosh Family Reunion took place in Medina, Ohio, which is about 45 minutes south of downtown Cleveland. Medina is home to one of V’s first cousins, which are actually more rare than me staying on a diet without potatoes for more than a week. TLEMK has a grand total of three first cousins on her mother’s side, and almost two on her father’s side, bringing the total to five cousins. With only four total on the maternal side, and with each of them living in different states (California, Illinois, Ohio, and Virginia), it is only about once every three-five years that they’re all under the same roof. But by attending the reunion this weekend, you would never know that these people rarely see each other. This reunion has been taking place consecutively for the last 60 or so years. That means every year, there is a family meeting, with minutes taken, debate over next year’s site, the treasury of the family, letters and updates from those who can’t attend, and this year, singing! To someone who didn’t grow up with family reunions, and had many, many, many cousins around (at least fifteen, and don’t even get me started on my stepdad’s family), it was a little overwhelming to see the display of family-ness and togetherness that these people shared with each other for a weekend. Thoughts and reflections:
The McIntoshes are organized.

There is a minutes log of each family meeting dating back to 1939. It’s been passed down all this time, complete with photographs stuck into the journal. There is also a family album that has pictures of the reunion, and original family members. Some of the photos date back to 1906, and they’re all organzied chronologically, and have everyone’s name in the caption. For the record, I debuted in the family album at the 2001 family reunion, as the official photographer for the offical reunion photo (not married or blood related, not in the picture.) This was my first year being in the photo itself.

There is also a family tree that nearly ran the length of the garage wall. It’s always really helpful to study it, because you *almost* figure out how you’re related to everyone there. First-cousin, twice removed is pretty closely related these days in the family.

Many a McIntosh Age Well

Whereas the original reunion pictures revolved around the the original eight children of Charles McIntosh, (TLEMK’s great-grandmother, Marie McIntosh {Barker} was the oldest girl) they have all passed on. Their children are the oldest generation now, and Lord, are they a collection. The twins, Wes and Les, at age 70-something,(74? 75? 76?) along with their sister Eloise, who is in her early 80s, are probably some of the most engaging people there. Wes and Les were seen playing Frisbee, catch with a baseball and glove, and at one point during one of the frequent downpours on Saturday, I saw Les actually running through the rain. Their cousin, David McIntosh pretty much dominated all conversations. At 82, he brought his violin to lead us in church hymns and folk songs after the family meeting. He lives in Bloomington, and was a music teacher for years and years, and still plays viola, guitar, and sings in the Bloomington Chamber Music Association. Apparently he’s also very spry. When asked by V what he and his wife were giggling about, he had no problems saying, “Sex. It’s pretty much what I’ve thought about for most of my life.” At least his wife had the decency to blush. The fifth cousin there, George McIntosh, had a strong handshake and a twinkle in his baby blue eyes, despite the fact that he’s using a walker these days. Looking back in the photos from the late 40’s and 50’s, he was definitely the hunk of the family. (Is it weird to have a man-crush on someone from fifty years ago? Just asking…)

The five first cousins were seated prominently in the middle of the picture, with us riffraff off to the sides. Missing was cousin Dorothy, who promised to try to make it next year (more on this in a moment.)

Where Everyone Knows Your Name

Despite the murky relationships, and the fact that they only see each other maybe once a year, everyone knows everyone in the McIntosh Family. The aforementioned cousins, except for David (who I met that day), all greeted me warmly, like we’d just seen each other last week. It was heartwarming, and that’s saying something for someone as cynical as I am. The atmosphere was that you could pick up and be part of that family, as long as you’re willing to bring a dish to pass, and have a great time. It was truly remarkable. At the same time, it was a little bittersweet because it makes me realize that my families don’t get together nearly enough. Sure, we’re there for weddings and some holidays, but I’ve never felt this seeming-closeness that this family gives off. Maybe I’m making it up, but they all knew each other, and cared for each other. It made me want to get to know my cousins better, and my family members better. I suppose their’s nothing stopping me, but it feels weird. “Hey, person that could potentially donate bone marrow to me, wanna go out to dinner?” I’ve just never been that comfortable putting myself out there, and I guess I need to if I want to capture the idea of family. (Mom, Mrs. Waj, this would be an excellent topic for you to weigh in on, either online or offline). We topped off the evening by sitting around the fire pit with V’s cousins, talking and drinking into the night, mostly about family and how they can be messed up. (Not mine; I had relatively little to say, which is always a shock to my mouth-muscles.)

More Sweet Than Bitter, Bitter Than Sweet.

As the older generations started to leave, I watched with dread as the twins loaded their elder sister (who is now in a wheelchair) into their motor home. The three of them do not have any children or grandchildren, and they live together by themselves in Wisconsin, on their parent’s land. These three are independent, but they are slowing down, and I worry about them and their ability to stay independent. Who is going to take care of them? Les is in the best shape, but he won’t stay like that for more than four or five more years. During the meeting, TLEMK and I bravely put our name in the hat to host next year’s festivities (which also include expanding the reunion to a mini-vacation for people; you’ll hear more of that down the road), and everyone thought it would be a great idea for us to host. I could only wonder if all six of the eldest generation would make it to the festivities; at this point, it seems like they will, but who can say? I know it’s depressing, but I wasn’t the only one to notice it. It was commented after the meeting that us having the reunion will centralize it a bit more for the elder generation, making it more likely for them to attend.

Looking Forward

Next year, we are hosting. THAT is a scary thought. I’m full of ideas and organization now, but will I be when January rolls around and I have to start sending out the information? Hopefully, yes. Plenty of familiy members offered to help out. Know this: The week of July 16th-July 22nd will be full for me next year. I am already mentally blocking other things out. I’ll also be soliciting ideas for organized activities that can span several generations. It should be a great time, but lots of work.

How do you feel about family reunions? Have you had experiences with them? Comment and vote!

Thanks for listening.

RSS Trackback URL 25. July 2006 (18:10)
Filed under: General, Exploring, All about me, In the Reflecting Pool