This Explains a Bit More…
| Category: General, All about me | 1 Comment
Really, I’m not trying to buy into all this personality stuff, but this is a lot closer to home than I want it to be. Read a little more on the ENFJ… yikes.
Sep 30
2008
Sep 29
2008
More Reflecting… Get Used to it, People.
| Category: General, All about me, In the Reflecting Pool | 1 Comment
It turns out I’m tired of apologizing. I’m tired of apologizing for who I am. I am freely declaring that yes, in fact, I am a sensitive person. I am male, and I give a crap about people and the world around me. I wear my heart on my sleeve and when you have my loyalty or my love, you have it for a long time. It’s why I have a hard time letting go of relationships; it’s why I’m so willing to be friends with almost anyone, in spite of what they may have done to me (perceived or based in reality). And though it’s gotten me hurt more times than I care to admit, it’s part of who I am. If you finally manage to get and stay on my bad side (and there’s really only a very few people who have managed *that* trick) you stay there too.
Over the summer, I took a course in differentiation. The teacher was a firm believer in having us get to know who we are before we could reach out and work with students. So we took some personality tests, multiple intelligence tests, etc. Turns out that according to the Myers-Briggs test, I’m an ENFJ and reading it, it makes a lot of sense. On the color spectrum, I’m a blue. (These are pretty consistent with each other.) Whether or not I ascribe to any or all of this mumbo-jumbo, many points hit a little too close to home.
So anyway, I just wanted to put it out there, that yes, I do know that I’m sensitive. It’s cool. I’ve tried to develop a thicker skin over the years; hasn’t happened. But it also makes me fairly perceptive to my friends’ needs. So, if you need something from me, let me know.
Finally tonight, I think I found a instant-favorite blog for a person such as myself. I already read Zen Habits, but I think I’m really going to enjoy Zen Moments. I’m looking for more peace in my life, more inspiration, and this little corner of the Internet seems to be providing it. Please read the post today– I dare you not to get a little emotional about it. I know I did, and I’m tired of apologizing for it. 
Sep 15
2008
Serenity? Now? Finally?
| Category: General, WTF?, All about me, In the Reflecting Pool | 1 Comment
I give up.
Friends, I’m about to tell you a quick true story that may illustrate a subtle shift in my personality. While it may be a fluke of nature or a distortion in the space-time continuum, the following events transpired exactly as I am about to relate them to you.
After hauling my ever-so-slightly slimmed down self to the gym for a quick 60 minute workout today, I decided to cruise across my hamlet to the local Subway to grab dinner before settling in for a night of paper writing and grading. Along the way, I noticed the river being higher than I’ve ever seen in it the 20+ years I lived here and saw the efforts of a community coming together. As I pulled into the Subway parking lot (also partially submerged) I checked my car stereo clock. 5:45. Home by six, I thought.
I enter the store and see five people in front of me and only ONE sandwich artist behind the counter. I took my place in line and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Gentle readers, you may not have run into me in awhile, or may have forgotten, but I am not the most patient person in the world. With my students, sure, but that’s because they’re spastic and barely have control over their bowels, much less their mouths and impulses. With grown-ups, I’ve been known to be a bit of ah, well, cranky jerkstore is a soft way of putting it.
I waited for 25 minutes at the Subway to get my sandwich. You may be thinking that you could see my blood boiling, my neck turning red when I’m upset (watch for it next time, dead giveaway), and my eyes narrowed into slits the give the impression that I am truly the possessor of The Mighty Eye (see: Dakos, Kalli: poetry)
But here’s the thing: I wasn’t upset. Not even close. In fact, I was downright convivial with the lone slinger of sandwiches as she scurried to make me my oven roasted chicken breast on wheat.
So what the hell is wrong with me? During my near half-hour of standing in the queue, I relaxed, did some breathing, and, I kid you not, thought about the things I was thankful for today.
And it felt good.
This is a trend I’ve noticed slowly overcoming me since the beginning of summer. I’m now more content to take things at a measured pace. I’m not always in a hurry to be somewhere (though if it involves football or consuming liquids… watch out) and in perhaps the most telling example of all- I Don’t Get To School At The Same Time Everyday. For anyone that knows me, this is unheard of. Is it a new leaf? Is it a development of patience and rose-smelling? Is it the slow realization that some things are out of my control and I can’t do anything about them so I might as well chill out? NO ONE KNOWS.
I’ve been given some sort of serenity and I have no idea if it is permanent. Spooky.
Stay tuned.
Sep 08
2008
Potpourri
| Category: General, All about me, In the Reflecting Pool | 2 Comments
An almost real blog post here. I was gently reminded by one of the 2.142857 readers that I have that I haven’t blogged recently. Been busy with life, making the most of each day, not writing about it. My bad. Captain Marc was right, as usual.
Summer’s over, school’s started again, and I’m in full swing. Between teaching, tutoring, trombone lessons, trivia, and jazz band, my weeks fill up pretty quickly.
I would love to talk about my love life, but that’s private. And just recently non-existent. Most of you know anyway, so my laundry stays in the giant pile in my closet, thank you very much.
Weight Update: Down 21 lbs. Don’t know how many weeks its been. I recently restarted the whole exercise thing– 3 times last week, and plans for at least that many this week.
However, maybe because of the rain or because my recent tribulations in amorous relationships, I’m feeling rather maudlin today… maybe not the right word. Sensitive is probably a better one. I ran across this poem yesterday, at all places, Jimmy John’s. And parts of it hit me like a ton of bricks. Yes, it’s sappy and forward-like, but it shifted my perspective on a few things. So, either stop reading and roll your eyes, or open up your heart/soul/mind and let the cheese flow all over you. Either way, have a better day tomorrow than today.
/end weird rambling.
I Believe…
I believe-
that we don’t have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.
I believe-
that no matter how good a friend is,
they’re going to hurt you every
once in a while and you must forgive
them for that.
I believe-
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I believe-
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.
I believe-
that it’s taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.
I believe-
that you should always leave loved ones
with loving words. It may be the last
time you see them.
I believe-
that you can keep going
long after you can’t.
I believe-
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.
I believe-
that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.
I believe-
that regardless of how hot and
steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had
better be something else to take
its place.
I believe-
that heroes are the people
who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
I believe-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I believe-
that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.
I believe-
that sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you’re down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe-
that sometimes when I’m angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn’t give me
the right to be cruel.
I believe-
that just because someone doesn’t love
you the way you want them to doesn’t
mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I believe-
that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you’ve had
and what you’ve learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you’ve celebrated.
I believe-
that it isn’t always enough to be
forgiven by others. Sometimes you
have to learn to forgive yourself.
I believe-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I believe-
that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I believe-
that just because two people argue,
it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other
And just because they don’t argue,
it doesn’t mean they do.
I believe-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a
secret. It could change your life forever.
I believe-
that two people can look at the exact
same thing and see something totally.
different.
I believe-
that your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don’t even know you.
I believe-
that even when you think you have no more
to give, when a friend cries out to you
you will find the strength to help.
I believe-
that credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.
I believe-
that the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.
by Unknown
